What Hurts The Most
by MelRyderLove43
Summary: "What hurts the most, was being so close. And having so much to say. And watching you walk away. And never knowing what could have been. And not seeing that loving you, is what I was tryin' to do." Eve/Mike fic. One-shot.


**A/N: Hey guys! Mel here with another Mike/Eve fic. :] I love writing these two. I don't know why I don't just start an actual fic with them, but with school and work, that's not a good idea, lololol. So I'll just stick with my one-shots. :] For the most part, this story will be told in Eve's point of view, but at other times it will be told in general point of view. This one is based off of the song "What Hurts The Most" by Rascal Flatts. :] The song is extremely, extremely beautiful. They're an amazing band in general, but this song is truly outstanding. The song belongs to them. Mike and Eve go to the WWE. Enjoy! **

**What Hurts The Most**

**Eve's POV:**

Anger. Guilt. Sadness. Emptiness. Hopelessness. Confusion. Heartbreak.

These are just some of the emotions I feel day in, and day out. Each day it's different. Each day one of these emotions is stronger than all the others.

Today, it's confusion.

Why. I couldn't understand why I was sitting here, living life when Mike got robbed of his. He was such a great guy; he was the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. The guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But I no longer had that option.

I know God has a plan for everyone, and that everyone's plan is different. But I couldn't understand his plan for Mike. What about my plans with Mike?

Mike and I had our own plans. Especially since my father never truly approved of my love for Mike. But he didn't understand it either.

He only saw Mike has a bad guy, when he was so much more than that. He had so much to give, so much to show the world.

But once my father had labeled him as a bad boy, that's the label he was stuck with, and there was no changing my fathers mind.

I wish my father would've approved of Mike. It would've made this whole healing process easier on me. It's not that I can't lean on my dad, because he's here for me. However, even though I know he's here for me, deep down inside I also know he didn't approve of Mike and I. So what if he's only here for me out of pity? Is that worse than being all alone?

Looking around my bedroom, I take in all the pictures of him and I that cover my walls. I have yet to take them down. I don't know _if _I can take them down. I still have yet to find the strength to take them down.

Pictures of Mike, my memories of him and I, that's all I have left to hold on it. I can't let it go. I can't let him go.

Anger is another emotion that seems to be inside of me everyday along with the confusion. I'm angry at my father, and I'm angry at myself.

My dad always pushed Mike away, he always put him down. Told him he wasn't ever going to be good enough for me, when he was the best thing to have ever happened to me.

I'm angry at myself because I never told Mike it was him I saw in my future. I never told him, but he told me he saw me. I asked him what he saw in his future, and after a few minutes, he told me that he saw me. When he asked me what I saw, I only kissed him goodbye, and went inside.

If I knew that was the last time I was going to see him, if I knew me telling him what I saw in my future was him were going to be my last words to him, I would've told him.

I should've told him.

But I didn't, and now I never can.

**General POV: **

Eve Torres sat in her bedroom unable to move. She sat on her bed, cross-legged as she rested her head on the wall behind her. Letting out a deep shaky breath, she closed her eyes, allowing the tears to well up behind her eyes before rolling down her cheeks.

**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don****'****t bother me.**

**I can take a few tears now and then, and just let them out.**

**I****'****m not afraid to cry every once in a while.**

**Even though going on with you gone, still upsets me.**

**There are days every now and again I pretend I****'****m okay, but that****'****s not what gets me.**

She sniffled as she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, before slowly opening her eyes. Her eyes drifted over to where her favorite picture of Mike hung up on her wall.

She slowly got out of bed, walking over where it hung. She gently pealed it away from the wall, being careful not to tare it.

After a few moments, she made her way back over to her bed, sitting back down in the same position.

She had on a pair of Mike's sweatpants, and his favorite hoodie. She pulled the hood over her head, inhaling his scent that she missed so much.

Turning her attention back to the picture, she ran her thumb across it, tracing the features of his smile. God did she miss him smile, his laugh, his eyes. Everything about him.

"Mikey…" She squeaked, not being able to get any other words out as tears were quick to stream down her face again.

**What hurts the most, was being so close. And having so much to say.**

**And watching you walk away. And never knowing what could have been.**

**And not seeing that loving you, is what I was tryin****'**** to do.**

**Eve's POV:**

Mike never doubted my love for him. He knew I loved him, and he knew I wasn't always the most open person because of my past relationships. He knew I was pushed around by other guys, and didn't always want to let him in when I was hurting over whatever it was upsetting me at the time.

Sitting here, I begin to question myself. I knew he never doubted my love, but did he know _just _how much he means to him? How much I truly love him?

If I could get one more chance to sit and talk with him, to tell him how much I love him, I would do it in a heartbeat.

But sometimes I feel like I didn't tell him enough, show him enough. The guilt that I feel because of this kills me, and it eats me alive.

Clenching tightly to his picture, I allow a few more tears to fall. It seems to help the pain, to numb it. Even if it only numbs it just a little, just for a little while.

I let out a few harsh sobs as the tears seem to overpower me, falling at a faster pace than I expected them to. But it's good for me.

**It****'****s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go****, b****ut I****'****m doin****'**** It****.**

**It****'****s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I****'****m alone****.**

I haven't been myself since Mike passed. I can't bring myself to go out and have fun knowing he won't be there right by my side. Knowing he's not here with me anymore.

But I'm trying my best, and I'm slowly getting there.

After a few minutes, I'm able to calm myself.

I throw on a pair of boots, grab my car keys, and my phone. I feel like going for a drive.

Twenty minutes later, I pull into the driveway of our local gravesite. I didn't plan on coming here, but something in my heart just lead me here.

I grabbed a blanket out of my backseat. The blanket Mike made me four Christmases ago. It's worn, and it's old. But it's perfect.

I trudge through the snow, making my way over to his headstone, lay out the blanket, and sit down.

"Hey Mikey," I quietly whispered as I pulled his hood over my head again, trying to keep out the cold air that blew over me.

"For some reason, I thought it might've become just a little bit easier on me by now, but it's still so hard. God, Mike…I miss you. I wish you could come home."

**Still ****h****arder**** getting**** up, getting dressed, livin****'**** with this regret****. **

**But I know if I could do it over****, I would trade****,**** give away all****,**** the words that I saved in my heart****.**

**That I left unspoken****.**

**General POV:**

Eve sniffled as she placed her hands in the pocket on his hoodie, and crossing her legs. "Mikey…I know…I know sometimes I pushed you away. I know I didn't love you as well as I could've, and that's my fault. I held back because I was so afraid. So afraid to let you in. To let you love me."

Eve paused for a moment to collect her thoughts, and to take a deep breath. This was going to be harder than she expected.

"Mikey, if I could do it all over, if I could get a second chance, just know I would do it right. Know I would tell you everyday just how amazing you are, what you mean to me, and how much I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul, Michael Mizanin. Nothing will ever change that."

**What hurts the most, was being so close. And having so much to say.**

**And watching you walk away. And never knowing what could have been.**

**And not seeing that loving you, is what I was tryin****'**** to do.**

"I need you to know that it's you, Mike. It's you I see when I look into the future. It's always been you, and it always will be you. It will never be anyone else." She whispered as tears rolled down her face again. "It will always be you."

**What hurts the most****, i****s being so close****. ****And having so much to say****.**

**And watching you walk away****. A****nd never knowing**** w****hat could have been**

**And not seeing that loving you****, i****s what I was tryin****'**** to do****.**

"I miss you more and more with everyday that passes, Mikey. I miss you, and I feel the guilt of me not expressing my feelings to you the way I know I should've builds up inside of me. But I also get stronger with each day that passes, and I'm hoping one day, I'll be strong enough to let that guilt go."

Eve looked up as she watched the sun begin to set. "Because, I know you would tell me that you knew how much I loved you, and that I'm being to hard on myself." She sighed, pulling her hands inside his sleeves, and wiping away her tears.

"But maybe I am being to hard on myself. I just wish I could've done it the right way."

Snow began to fall, and the temperature began to drop. She sniffled as she tried her best to keep warm. "I better get going, Mikey. But just know…just know I love you. I'll be back soon. Sleep well tonight, I miss you."

She stood to her feet, ran her hand across the top of his headstone, brought her cold fingers to her lips, and then pressed them down onto the top of the headstone. "It's you…and it's always been you."

Eve forced herself to walk away, hoping Mike knew just how much she loved him. Even though he always did.

**Not seeing that loving you****, t****hat****'****s what I was trying to do****.**

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who read. :] I hope you enjoyed this! Please review, they mean the word to me! (: Thanks so much! - Mel**


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